In 1989, when I got herpes, the nurse told me I couldn’t transmit the virus unless I was having an outbreak. For three years, I had a boyfriend who never knew I had herpes. HWerks bills itself as a community of people living with herpes and HPV. Even though one facet of the site includes dating and romance, your membership with HWerks provides much more. They offer members community support with features like chatrooms, forums, secret Facebook groups, and local support groups.
Coupled with a good understanding of herpes and a frank and open discussion with your partner, this can mean a very manageable relationship with herpes. From a medical standpoint, it’s extremely manageable and suppressible. Many people with herpes never have symptoms or outbreaks. For those that do, anti-herpes medications, such as Valtrex, Zovirax, and Famvir, can prevent or shorten outbreaks. Kayla, a 25-year-old, says her herpes diagnosis has actually had a positive impact on her dating experiences.
How Long Will I Need To Take The Treatment
Generally, the best time to explain to your partner that you have herpes is when you start to think that sexual contact is on the horizon. After a date, your partner might invite you to their home, sending an obvious signal that theyre open to the idea of escalating the relationship. Assuming you’ve had sex with at least 6 people, you’ve probably already had sex with someone who was either unknowingly asymptomatic or didn’t have the guts to tell you. Some doctors even go as far as to tell their patients that they aren’t obligated to disclose. Hell you might already have it if you’ve never seen your igg numbers.
What Should You Discuss About Herpes
Think about educating them, rather than engaging in blame. Still, since to the best of my knowledge I don’t have genital herpes, I would be very reluctant to get involved with someone who clearly had it. If I did date them, I wouldn’t sleep with them until marriage honestly. It’d be dumb to potentially infect yourself with an incurable disease that would make it harder to find other partners unless you are confident things are going to last for the long haul. While promiscuous people probably do have higher rates of infection statistically, I think it’s important to emphasize you don’t have to be promiscuous to get it.
When you tell your partners, Harbushka says you need to create the conversation around their needs. They are going to have questions for you concerning their health and will want to know how they can avoid contracting the virus. A number of proven medications speed up the healing process and reduce discomfort. Antiviral medications like acyclovir and valacyclovir offer a simple way to control and minimize herpes outbreaks. For starters, you could risk missing out on having an amazing person in your life. They could be your best friend, partner in crime, the one who makes you laugh and who is always there for you.
It didn’t answer my questions about what my love life or health would be like in the future. Tell at least part of the truth if you think the person needs to hear it. If you refuse sex one day, for example, tell your partner that it isn’t them, that there’s something you want to tell them but you don’t think you currently have the strength to do it.
“HSV-1 is most commonly related to cold sores, which a large amount of the population have. However, HSV-1 can also be the virus that causes genital herpes and HSV-2 can be the virus that gives you cold sores,” she says. If you need to tell a romantic and potential sexual partner here that you have herpes, its essential that you do this before you have any sexual contact. Herpes can spread easily, and theres a real risk of transmission even if you arent experiencing an outbreak. Millions and millions of people have herpes youre definitely not alone.
You’ve only been looking in the wrong place all along. It’s mostly stigma, and many people don’t realize they have it. I don’t think I got it, but I also can’t be sure because you can’t really test for it without symptoms. (looks it up 60-95% of adults globally!) And it’s not dangerous, just annoying.
The second type of herpes simplex virus, HSV-2, almost always infects the genitals, so if a test shows antibodies to HSV-2 in your blood, you probably have genital herpes. A blood test that shows antibodies to the other type of herpes virus, HSV-1, means you could have genital or oral herpes. That’s because oral herpes, which is usually caused by HSV-1, can spread to the genitals during oral sex. If you have herpes and your partner doesn’t, it’s important to use condoms or dental dams during sex, whether you are experiencing an outbreak or not.
Health.com uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. It can help to know how herpes works whether or not you have a partner. Dating with herpes can feel daunting, but you are not alone. Condom Facts Here’s how to avoid the most common mistakes. Soon we will be married, and more than 100 family members and friends are invited to join our celebration.